Welcome Back to The Insight Letter!
Volume One: Fourteenth Edition
For those who are new here
Hi, I’m Anisha!
I’m a front end developer and software engineering student, and this newsletter is where I document my learning as I grow through technology, productivity, and life.
I created The Insight Letter as a space to share what I’m discovering throughout my learning journey from studying computer science, mathematics, and engineering, to building better systems, habits, and soft skills for navigating the real world. Some weeks it’s a lesson from university, sometimes it’s a self paced online course, and other times it’s a reflection that changed how I think.
Along the way, I share the insights and approaches that have helped me most so you can pick what resonates, adapt it to your own life, and skip a bit of unnecessary trial and error.
If you enjoy learning alongside someone who’s curious, honest about the process, and focused on growing consistently, you’ll feel at home here.
Welcome back to The Insight Letter!
I thought ambition would feel exciting. Like you’d be busy, but in a good way. Tired, but fulfilled. Like everything would make sense because you chose it.
But honestly, it’s been more exhausting than I expected.
Not just because of the work, but because of everything around it, mostly the environment.
There’s the obvious part: trying to execute.
You’re doing things you’ve never done before, figuring things out as you go, constantly switching between uni, projects, ideas, deadlines. Even when it’s self-imposed, it still takes energy.
But that part is manageable. What I didn’t expect was how much harder it gets when other people don’t really get it.
Ambition as a First Year…
It’s small things.
People questioning why you’re doing so much this early. Comments that sound like concern but feel like doubt.
The subtle tone of “you don’t need to try this hard yet.”
And none of it is outright negative, which almost makes it worse.
Because it makes you second guess yourself.
You start thinking: Am I doing too much? Is this even worth it right now?
I think that’s the part no one really talks about. Ambition isn’t just internal pressure. It’s external friction too. It’s choosing something that doesn’t fully make sense to the people around you yet, and still sticking with it…but then again, doesn’t everything in life work that way?
And the weird thing is, the more you care, the more that doubt actually lands. Because you’re not fully confident either. You’re still early. You don’t have proof yet. You’re building something without knowing if it’ll work. So when someone else questions it, it hits the exact uncertainty you were already trying to ignore.
That’s what makes it exhausting. It’s not just doing the work. It’s constantly having to re-evaluate if you are going to keep going, if it’s really worth it, or am I just “wasting” my “golden” years.
I’m starting to realise that ambition, at this stage, isn’t about being sure.It’s about being willing to look a bit unreasonable. To care about things earlier than you “should”. To put in effort before it’s necessary. To keep going without external validation.
Because the truth is, most people aren’t going to understand it while you’re in it.
They’ll understand it later, when it works, but right now, it just looks like you’re doing too much.
Ignoring the Noise
I don’t think there’s a clean way to make ambition feel easier right now. But I have been trying a few things that make it feel less heavy to carry.
Here’s what’s been helping:
1️⃣ Separating my voice from everyone else’s
When I notice doubt creeping in, I try to pause and ask: did this come from me, or did it come from someone else? Because a lot of the time, it’s not actually my own thinking. It’s just something I absorbed from a conversation or being around people with different priorities. That small distinction helps me not overreact to it.
2️⃣ Letting things be “too early”
I’ve stopped trying to justify why I’m doing certain things right now. If I’m interested in something, I just let myself explore it, even if it doesn’t make sense for a first year, even if I’m not “ready”. Because waiting until something feels fully logical usually just means starting later than I need to.
3️⃣ Redefining what a “good week” looks like
Instead of measuring progress by outcomes, I’ve been measuring it by whether I showed up despite the doubt. Some weeks don’t look impressive from the outside.
But internally, they took more effort than anything else. And I think that still counts.
To be honest, none of this removes the exhaustion….at all.
But it makes it easier to keep going without constantly second guessing everything.
A question I’m thinking about this week
Over the last week, I’ve been asking myself what felt heavy, not just in terms of workload, but mentally. It’s helped me separate what’s actually difficult from what’s just noisy.
If you want to try it too, here’s what I’m reflecting on:
1️⃣ When did I feel most unsure about what I’m doing?
2️⃣ And where did that doubt actually come from?
For me, it wasn’t always the work itself.
A lot of the doubt showed up after conversations. Small comments, questions, or even just being around people who are approaching university very differently.
And I realised the feeling wasn’t “this isn’t working”.
It was more like “this doesn’t make sense to other people yet.”
Because it means the discomfort isn’t always a signal to stop.
Sometimes it’s just what it feels like to do something a bit earlier, or a bit differently, than the people around you.
Wishing you a week of growth and momentum!
Kind Regards,
